never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
