Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
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He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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