i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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