I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
