Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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