remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
