i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
