You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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