I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
