Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I look better un-naked...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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