And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
