I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
