what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
