The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
