sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
