she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
