I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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