It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she told me i tasted like america
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
