she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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