We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
