Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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