toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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