Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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