so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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