FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
