fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
