In the future we'll all be gay
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
