I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
