I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
