She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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