he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
