Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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