Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
