JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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