I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.