hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize