you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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