So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
