i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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