ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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