So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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