i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
