wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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