But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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