Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
