Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
