it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
