Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
