That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
