She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
