??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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