why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
