And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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