I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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