Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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