weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Randomize
