"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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