he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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