Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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