so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
