My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
