I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
