Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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